wedding dress adultery: part 2

Like I said in my  last post on Monday morning I was EXHAUSTED but I couldn’t sleep while I waited for my mom to pick me up and I couldn’t sleep on the drive to Modesto. By the time we arrived I was feeling a little delirious. I have been unwilling to accept the fact that I didn’t really have the “moment” of finding my dream dress. The dress I bought was beautiful so I felt like I was crazy not to be having that moment but then I thought maybe that I’m just not the type of girl to have a moment over a dress  – which doesn’t really sound like me. A part of me was hoping I wouldn’t love this dress & that I’ve just been over thinking things and the really rational part of me was telling me I have no business buying a second dress – wedding dress money doesn’t grow on trees.

The day before I had talked to someone over the phone at David’s Bridal who mentioned I could only exchange my dress if it was an equal or greater value. I didn’t think that exchanging was an option at all & it sounded a little too good to be true. But it did give me a little sliver of hope that maybe this would all work out in the end.

We drove two hours. I went to check in at the front counter & that took about twenty minutes. They couldn’t find my account and I had to go through the magazine & “dog ear” the dresses I was interested in trying on. Once that was finally squared away the manager informed me I couldn’t exchange my dress because I had bought mine at the Roseville store & it was over 60 days ago. I tend to be too nice & I don’t like to make waves but we had come too far for me to just walk away so I put on my big girl pants & plead my case.

I explained how nothing was wrong with my current dress but I was forced into having my “moment” & buying the dress after I had been made to feel that if I didn’t buy it that day then I would never have the opportunity to buy the dress again. I made it very clear that the person I had talked to on the phone didn’t mention that the location the dress was bought at would effect the ability to do an exchange & made it clear that I wouldn’t have made the 2 hour drive after working 12 hours all night to make this appointment . The store manager called the district manager & after they inspected my dress it was just a waiting game.

I was sitting in a  chair just emotionally & physically exhausted. Really just on the verge of tears when the manager told me they would be willing to make the exchange. I literally think I heard angels singing. The biggest weight came off of my chest & they went to go get the dress that had brought me all of this way.

My mom is standing in the dressing room with me when one of the girls came in with a very sad look on her face to tell me that the dress was sold yesterday. I looked at my mom and she was just in tears & really all I could do was laugh. I told her I would try on something with a similar shape & buy online – which I meant I couldn’t do an exchange. She finally returns and she has my dress in her hands. I screamed, like an actual scream/squeal of joy and disbelief. She found it in the back with my name on it. The person I had talked to the day before told me it wasn’t possible to hold a dress for longer than a day. HELLO, divine intervention this whole day was becoming quite the Christmas miracle.

Longer story short. I put on the dress & I found out what that real “I found my dress moment” feels like. TEARS AND TEARS AND TEARS and more tears. I literally can’t stop looking at the pictures of myself in the dress. I can’t wait to put it back on on my wedding day. I have no interest in showing anybody because I know it’s the dress of my dreams, I don’t need validation from anybody. I think this is how people feel when they say they’re walking on air. I CANNOT wait for my fiancé to see me walking down the aisle in this dress. I think I could live in it for the rest of my life.

One Hundred and Thirty Three Days

Hugs & Kittens,


wedding dress adultery: part 1

I fell in love with another dress online. There. I said it. This weekend I’ve made way too many phone calls to David’s Bridal  just to be told by store after store that it’s not in stock. I called the store in Roseville & was told no. I called the store in Modesto & was told they didn’t have it.  I called the store in Pinole & was told that the store in Modesto DOES have it but only one. If there records weren’t updated I would have to go to Nevada. WHAT? Nevada? I was starting to believe this wasn’t meant to be.  Although Modesto told me the day before that I was out of luck I decided to try again. I called again, was placed on hold for 25 minutes (NO JOKE) and finally told they do have one dress left, in my size.  I hear an angel sing.

I just worked a twelve hour shift & I’m fighting to stay awake. I’m waiting for my mom to pick me up so we can do the hour and a half drive to Modesto to try it on. I’m SO SO nervous & feeling a little like I’m cheating on my dress but I feel like there is a huge weight off of my shoulders already.

Feeling apprehensive but hopeful & In desperate need of a cup of coffee.

Thank goodness my Mother is riding this roller coaster with me. She is a saint.

Hugs & Kittens,


The Barely Breathing Bride to be. (Figure of speech)

My wedding is in 139 days. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE DAYS and guess who has a dress that’s suddenly very tight & difficult to breathe in!?! THIS GIRL. The last 6 months have been stressful to say the least. I left my job of 5 years for a new job closer to home. I am essentially doing the same thing but my new department is just so different from how I’m used to doing things. It’s been a huge adjustment. It has been a positive life change. I will go as far as to say it’s been life changing & possibly the best decision I have ever made, but the training process was mentally and sometimes physically exhausting.

I have been eating a mostly Paleo Diet & working out like a mad woman & figured my gain in ten pounds must have been muscle. Two months ago I was eager to try on my wedding dress because I thought, although I had gained weight  there was no possible way my dress wouldn’t fit because I’d been working so hard, eating so well & feeling so amazing. Well I was wrong. My mother first pretended she couldn’t zip my dress – she thinks she is so funny – but then she seriously couldn’t zip it all of the way. I, of course panicked. It just didn’t make any sense. When I first got the dress back in December it fit perfectly. I thought if I ate right & worked out I would even have to have it taken in. CLEARLY things were not going in that direction. After my melt down I decided the best course of action was to stay positive, keep eating well & exercising.

Two and a half weeks ago I was laying in bed with my mother on the morning after one of our bi-weekly sleepovers & couldn’t even fathom the though of trying on that dress one more time. The dress that I once loved & “petted” as I tried on had suddenly become the bane of my existence that I want nothing to do with. I weighed myself on her scale desperately hoping my scale at home had been lying to me all along & hers would magically show me the numbers I wanted and so badly needed to see. It didn’t. At this point I’ve still been sticking to my routine of healthy eating and exercising 4-5 times a week and I just couldn’t understand why I wasn’t seeing any results.Then it dawned on me that my new medication might be the cause of this weight gain. Without going into too much details about that I’ve been off of my medication for almost two weeks. The first week I lost about 7 pounds. I’m assuming this was water weight which makes sense because I felt just so puffed up & bloated like a big chunky bullfrog. I am halfway through week 2 and I haven’t lost any weight this week but maybe I am not giving myself enough time. Since June 1 my Paleo has been super strict. No cheat meals at all. I do have some wine about once a week which I’m going to be stopping & I’ve cut my coffee intake down probably about %50 percent. My dress once again zips but it’s difficult to latch and difficult to breathing. This isn’t quite the disaster because I still have some time but this isn’t how I pictured things going when I started this journey.

I feel like this roller coaster has left me no longer in love with my dress which makes me sad because it is so beautiful I just don’t feel beautiful in it. I know my fiancé doesn’t care what I wear or if my dress is too tight. He loves me in the morning walking around the house with my crazy notorious bed head, no makeup, wearing my bedtime superhero underwear’s singing him obnoxious good morning songs. How he reacts or feels isn’t what I’m worried about and  It’s not so much about how I look but how I feel on that day. I might set standards for myself that are sometimes unrealistic but this is the one day in my whole life that I get to really get dolled up & I just don’t want to feel like Jeremiah the Bullfrog. 

I’ve called a couple of bridal shops & I’m really fighting the urge to go explore my options. Of course the dress I purchased is being sold for 50%  off & even if I do sell it I will still be down a few pretty little pennies. THANK YOU saleslady for making me feel like if I waited I would never have the chance to buy that dress again. That was so not true & it’s my fault for being caught up in the moment & not doing enough research. In closing, I’m not sure if these are normal bride feelings or just normal OCD related “me” feelings but all I want is some peace in my decision. 

End of Rant. 


Disneyland is always a good idea but maybe The Jolly Roger isn’t.



My best friend, Sarah Rose & I decided to take a little road trip to our favorite place in the whole world last month, Disneyland (Duh)! It was quite the adventure. After working 12 hours I got off work at 6:30 in the morning. Sarah got dropped off at my house & she drove us down to Anaheim in my trusty little Mazda. I would like to point out that although she did great driving us & was such a trooper & I totally appreciated it she wasn’t very supportive of me napping in the car & I only got about three hours of sleep. See below for a picture of me being Sleeping Beauty below. Besides that the drive actually went pretty quickly. We literally just laughed & sang the entire time & we hit minimal Los Angeles traffic.We got to our hotel room around 2 pm isn, rallied for about an hour and then we hit the parks strong after we got a deliciously overpriced pitcher of margarita’s at tortilla joe’s.

Sarah always makes fun of me because every time were down there I always tell her I want to stay at the Jolly Roger Inn & it’s become a running joke between us since our first trip when we were 15 and 16 years old. Please keep in mind when you say “Jolly Roger” it needs to be done with an awful mix of a british/pirate accent. So at $49 dollars a night I decided to book it. I’m not going to say I regret booking the room because it ended up being the most hilarious & frightening part of our trip. First we couldn’t even find it because there was major construction going on in front of the hotel & the sign for it was teeny tiny behind a construction fence about 5 feet from the street. We finally pull into the correct parking lot & are amazed because there are only about 10 cars in the parking lot. We go to check in & the man behind the desk was super friendly & nice I ask him if we were able to get a room with a mini fridge & microwave. He said someone would be bringing them to our room for us shortly….WHAT!?!! No, I didn’t hear him wrong, both items were rolled into our hotel room about 20 minutes later. Which I guess we can’t complain because they did deliver. I’m probably just spoiled by all my years of staying in the Howard Johnson Hotels & having those items already in the room when you check in. The rooms were fine although, every morning we did wake up to the sound of hammers & drills, the construction workers made up for it by whistling & woo-hoo ing at us as we walked to the park. Every night we were a little nervous because the hotel did seem a little deserted & the rooms were “motel style” (the doors to each room were all outside). We made it through the three days without being murdered or kidnapped or worse & on the morning of the final day we were trying to pack & get on our way home but we couldn’t find our room key. (The key/lock combo was super old school & we would have been charged for losing them). On a whim Sarah decides to check the door to see if I left the key in the lock, literally as she is saying “I’m sure you would never do this, but…” she starts yelling at me because guess what…THE KEY WAS IN THE DOOR ALL NIGHT. I broke the number one rule of travel safety for females. I DON’T KNOW HOW WE DIDN”T GET KIDNAPPED OR ROBBED OR KILLED. MOM IF YOU’RE READING THIS, I KNOW I SCREWED UP IM SORRY IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN…except I did the same thing at my house two days ago. I’m starting to lose my reputation for always being the responsible friend. I don’t even know who I am anymore, THIS IS MAKING ME NERVOUS.

Besides that madness we had so much fun. We are planning our next trip & I have my eye on the Alpine Inn which is across the street from the Jolly Roger. I know the HOJO (Howard Johnson) is a safer bet but I can’t resist a hotel with a theme.

Hugs & Kittens,


A Cat’s Tale about a Cat’s Tail.

So happy news! I adopted a new cat.

Sad news, a few days later my old kitty Salem aka Pooters aka poots aka pooty aka Mr. Kitty
started acting like a rabid beast.

20140523-104316-38596787.jpgWe literally could not pick him up or pet him without him hissing, spitting or trying to scratch/murder us. It was frightening. We thought maybe he was just being a little territorial with the new kitty in the house but he didn’t show any signs of aggression towards the new cat or our dog, just us pestering humans. By the second day we realized he was walking a little wonky and not moving his back end and we started to think it was more than just not liking his new roommate.

I called the vet & an hour later I had an unhappy pooty crammed in a pet carrier on our way to see the Vetrinerian (with Macy happily in tow for her rabies shot).


Another hour later and we had our answer! The vet noticed he wasn’t moving his tail and as soon as she lifted it she could smell the infection. My POOR cat had four different punctures on his tail, they were severely infected and his temperature was 105. They shaved his tail, pumped him full of antibiotics, sent us home with pain meds to be taken every 12 hours and an e collar to keep him from chewing off his own tail. Which apparently it’s common to clean their wounds until the point where they have to be amputated.


So my first question was; did our new (ridiculously sweet & affection) cat do this to Mr. Kitty?!? Was his sweet demeanor all a mask to get adopted into a new house with lots of food and awesome hiding spots?!?

After some time and observation we don’t think this was actually the case because as soon as I brought Pooters home the new kitty started cleaning him and Pooters didn’t seem to mind. Pooty does have outdoor privileges & think that one of the neighborhood felines might be the culprit. He’s recently been bullied by an identical black cat who tends to lurk in our bushes….It’s actually quite creepy & when I see them both I feel like I’m watching an animal planet version of The Twilight Zone.

20140519-003212-1932354.jpgAfter a few humiliating days in the cone of shame & pain medication every 12 hours my little guy seems to be feeling much better and is swaying his half shaved tail as sassy as ever. So grateful for the sweet Vetrinerian who took such careful care of our priceless poots.

20140519-003213-1933563.jpgHugs & Kittens,



“There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.” ― Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady

This afternoon I met my mother & my aunt’s for tea at the Linde Lane.  I love getting to pick out my tea by smelling all of the little cannisters filled with loose tea leaves. They have their little tea pots for sale & I’m hoping to get one soon. When I make tea at home it never tastes the same as it does when I go here but obviously they’re not serving microwaved lipton which is probably half of my problem with the other half being my inability to do things correctly. Also, can we talk about how adorable my plate was? I ordered the Teddy Bear Tea which is a chocolate chip scone, peanut butter & jam sandwich, turkey and cheese and dessert. It was so cute I almost didn’t want to eat it but of course I did. I had just had brunch so the tiny portion was enough but any other day I wouldn’t have ordered this fancy little kids’ meal. Their croissants sandwiches, or as my friends at Burger King would call them, croissan’wiches are my usual go to. I also love that their menu says, “We do not promote wastefullness while people in our community go without. We leave the crusts on our breads, unless you request them to be removed.”

Hugs & Kittens,


loose leaf tea

more teas

lemon mint

teddy bear tea
christmas tree
teddy bear tea 2

wedding update and then some.

We officially have our venue. OFFICIALLY as in we put down the deposit and our date is secured and I can’t change my mind for the ten millionth (third) time. It’s so funny because I truly thought that I knew where I wanted us to get married(The Vacaville Opera House). It was all planned out in my head and I had no eyes for other venues until a friend of ours told us to check out the Foresthouse Lodge. I didn’t want to look..I wanted nothing to do with the thought of going anywhere else but my other half had other ideas. When I first saw pictures I didn’t want to love it because I knew I would LOVE it. I had fears of finding somewhere we both loved…truly loved and it not being able to work for logistical reasons.  Like I said, I already had our wedding planned in my head (and it was gorgeous enough) and starting over sounded exhausting. Needless to say I was kind of a brat for the next few weeks and refused to entertain the idea of going to see the place in person. All I talked about was Opera House this and Opera house that…Well, my equally bratty fiancé had been coordinating with the Foresthouse Lodge’s onsite event coordinator talking Foresthouse this and Foresthouse that and scheduled a consulation that I had no choice but to attend. Long story short; Brady won & we returned a month later to put down the deposit AKA shit got very real. It was a little scary signing the contract and even scarier putting down a pretty chunk of change but I couldn’t be happier with our decision and I can’t wait to marry my BFF in the forest. I don’t want to spill all of the beans for the big day but here are two little details that won’t be secret for very long.

1.) Date: October 31, 2014 & 2.) We have the venue for 48 hours. 


Side note:

My parents went with us to look at the venue on the day of the signing. My mom had seen it but my step-dad hadn’t yet & I was super excited to show him. So excited that I thought nothing could go wrong and spoil the day. Well like most things I was wrong about that. We made a little detour on our way home and  the 4 wheel drive in the truck went out. We were stuck in the snow for what I would describe as HOURS UPON HOURS. Others would describe it as “like two hours, maybe” but whatever because I thought we were going to die. I know it sounds like I’m being dramatic but that seriously happens a lot more than people think about. Seriously everything that could have went wrong totally went wrong and all I could think about was the poor Donner’s and how much worse their situation was but how oddly close I felt to them in those moments and also they probably hated me for thinking that. Anyways, we finally got out thanks to some really nice guys in a land rover and once we got our buns back to civilization we ate chili and talked about how funny this would be in a few weeks. It’s kind of funny now but also I’m a little worried it’s a sign of things to come. They have been saying that Winter is Coming….


Grateful to be typing this safely at home wearing panda slippers and drinking hot chocolate.

hugs & kittens,


The Nervous Girl’s Guide to Cooking….sort of


Chicken Bruschetta Pasta

I experienced something strange yesterday. I was out and about and thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have dinner ready when Brady gets from work”. WAIT…WHAT?!?!

The extent of me preparing any kind of meal is usually pouring cereal or scrambling eggs which isn’t always successful.  I hate to admit it but I feel like I have some kind of responsibility to my fiancé to start at least trying to cook instead of defaulting on Taco Bell and/or breakfast (yum) when Its my turn to decide what’s for dinner.

So literally, this was my first attempt at cooking by myself in probably like 8 months. I had to read the instructions about ten thousand times but it was actually super yummy and dare I say….fun, easy…and rewarding. WHO AM I? I baked the chicken in the oven which I didn’t really know was an option but it was so stupid easy that I can’t believe I’ve never done it before. I did have to clean the bowl I put the chicken in about four times with scolding hot water because I felt like I was going to poison us by not using hot enough water the first time and then I thought about it all day at work and cleaned it again when I got home just in case. Other than that, it was a total one hundred percent success. Next time; remind me to not eat an entire loaf of french bread/drink a bottle of wine during the cooking process.

Hugs & Kittens,